Jackson's First Day!!!

Jack had his first day of pre-school today!

I was super nervous for him to go. He is really shy when he doesn't know anyone and has a hard time in new environments. All morning he kept saying... "I don't really want to go to my new school mommy". I just ignored it and we would talk about something different. As we were driving to school he said it again, our conversation went like this:
J:"Mommy, I really don't want to go to my new school"
M: "You are going to have so much fun. And Miss Jan is so nice!"
J: "I just wanna go to my old school" (last year we did a co-op school group... i.e. glorified play group)
M: "Oh honey, you are going to love this school. And you are so big. You are 3 years old! So I know that you are going to be so brave! And when mommy comes back to pick you up, you can give me a big hug and kiss and tell me all about your fun day at school!
J: Silence.

We pulled up to his school. He un-buckled his seat belt jumped out of the car with his back pack and said: "I can be so brave".

We walked up, went inside and put his back pack in the cubby. Mrs. Jan came right up and said "Hi Jackson, welcome to school! Let's go wash your hands". And they walked away.

I sat there for a little while not knowing what to do.... Do I wait? Is he ok? Will he panick when he comes out of the bathroom and I am not there? Will it be worse if I am there and then he really has to say goodbye?

I decided to leave. I just walked out. No hug. No kiss. No .... "be good, have fun, listen to your teacher, share the toys".... nothing. Then, I cried. Why? I'm still not quite sure. I think I felt like I had just abandoned him because I didn't "warn" him that I was going to leave. I kept wishing they had little windows like nursery, so that I could just have a little peak.

I was so anxious to know how it all went, I was 5 minutes early to pick him up. And I was supposed to wait for them to bring him out, but I went inside instead. He saw me and ran up to me and said, "I didn't cry. I was so brave". Sigh.

The school year is not official until we make a sign. I decided to put Clara in to help me remember what she was like when Jack was in pre-school. I couldn't get her to look at the camera, she was to worried about the way the grass was making her legs feel. I am so proud of my little guy for being so brave. I am sure as each year comes it is only going to get harder to see my boy walk away from me as he starts that first day of school. And I am sure that not every year my little "pep talk" is going to work like it did this year. I love that I make him feel so empowered... that his mom can say "you can do it" and you better believe he thinks he can do it! Sigh. I love my little man.